Inside the head of Bluey Scheluwee : “The day I met Master & heard the stationery speak.” (Part II)

It was one of those days I would forever remember as Black Friday.

My owner walked into 3 that morning and I could sense that she was relieved that the weekend was dawning. In a way, as much as I didn’t want to have any emotion for my owner, I felt relieved for her too as the Master had been especially difficult to deal with the past week. I hoped that the day would go by speedily so my owner could finally have the break she deserved.

Alas, the Master thought otherwise and for the entire day, kept dumping orders on my owner. If I thought life as a fish was difficult, life as a human being was ridiculously tough. At least I didn’t have to listen to instructions from an obsessive compulsive Master almost the whole day. It is quite calming being able to swim day in and day out, always existing in the cooling water. With no other fish to share my space with, I obeyed no one and took instructions from none. All I wanted was to just be free, and unconfined in this space. I wanted to be somewhere bigger, somewhere where space wasn’t so claustrophobically confined. Perhaps a bigger aquarium or dare I say even the big blue sea like in Little Mermaid (and I could be Ariel’s teensy sidekick fishy…:)). But I knew it was wishful thinking on my part. Those were stuff made for dreams.

So all I can do is just swim around and observe my Master’s daily life here. Why she spent almost the entire day at 3 being treated like a clerk when she was obviously a qualified professional with a brilliant mind was beyond my limited knowledge. But back to unfolding the events that took place that Black Friday…

I could see my owner losing her cool after the Master kept piling instructions with “it’s urgent, need it by end of today” instructions. In my personal opinion, it was not even humanly possible to complete several voluminous tasks within 5 hours, all by the end of the day. Was the Master out of it’s mind? I must admit, I am a fish with a bad personality and a negative mind, but this goes even beyond me. But wait, I may have overlooked the fact that my owner woman may have more than two hands. After all, I’ve been here for a month now and I haven’t exactly seen my owner from her waist downwards (look, I am on a desk with a limited view, remember?). Neways, the owner was crazily busy the whole day and went home late that day all thanks to the Master. I just hope that she would enjoy her weekend. Well actually, I don’t really care.

That very same day, just as I was wondering what was really physchologically wrong with the Master, who obviously lacked essential skills needed to do whatever it is that they all came and did at 3, I suddenly noticed a big black shadow dawn upon my space. I then heard a shriek. I made an about turn in my space and swam to the edge of the confinement I was in to inspect what was going on and to my horror, found the Master looking rite at me with a perplexed expression. I froze for a second and so did the Master and I noticed that the Master bore a strong resemblance to an Og*.

Then I heard the Master talking to my owner, not surprisingly trying to obtain information about who I was and where I came from. The Master had only now noticed my existence…*sigh* For it to claim superior intelligence was a gross mistake as the Master owned remotely zero intelligence. I was even more shellshocked when I heard the Master asking my owner why I was blue. Hellooo? Anyone home in that pea brain? Never seen a blue fish before? Never heard of one? Wattt??? I may be a fish but I still know a lot of stuff just by observing and watching and paying attention. I don’t have a degree but I absorb information at the speed of light. I work with limited resources, and you of all the people with your vast resources and self proclaimed intelligence, cannot even decipher what a blue fish is? Geez…I rest my case.

For a moment, I wished I could speak so I could tell my owner to smack that sorry pea brain of a Master but I couldn’t care less about it as I noticed she did stand up some for me to the Master too and besides, I had more grave things to worry about…as you will soon come to learn of in the following narration.

I thought I heard the stationery speak to each other.

Yes, take a moment to let that statement sink in. I’m aware of the fact that you may think I’m losing it, you know, what with me being in solitary confiment all day long, with all kinds of negative vibes around me and me being a negative fish in general.

But I did hear them speak. Several times a day in fact. I heard the stapler making a Master joke to the pen, the black ballpoint one. Then I saw the blue ballpoint looking jealously at the stapler. It seemed that the blue and black ballpoints were an item and the stapler seemed to always invade their space with his incessant chatting. He would only stop when the owner picked him up to staple her documents. Otherwise, he would behave in a very unstapler-like manner. But none of them seemed to want to look or talk to me. And I didn’t want to talk to them either. Besides…what good would ever come out of having a conversation with a couple of stationery? What would we ever talk about? The quality of staples? price of ink? I mean, they weren’t even moving objects (stationary…geddit?..:)), so it wasn’t really a privilege to be mingling with them. They could all sod off for all I cared.

I christened the stapler Idiota Schmidiota and the ballpoint couple Ken and Barbie.

And so I decided to observe them for a few days and see what I could learn from them, though I suspected It wouldn’t be much. They seemed as brainless as the fish in my owner’s place back at HER home. Yeah, it was never mine to call home to begin with since she got rid of me and brought me to this shitty place called 3.

Whatever.